Bracket Justice

[{"_1":2,"_3":-5,"_4":-5},"loaderData",{"_5":6,"_7":8,"_9":10},"actionData","errors","root",{"_158":159,"_160":161},"routes/_app.x.$handle.$name",{"_11":12,"_13":14,"_15":16,"_18":19,"_17":-7,"_120":-5,"_20":121,"_22":122,"_123":124,"_125":126,"_25":127,"_24":-5,"_128":-5,"_129":-5,"_130":53,"_131":132,"_133":44,"_134":-5,"_135":-5,"_136":137},"routes/_app.x.$handle.$name.branch.$branch.code.$",{"_11":12,"_13":14,"_15":16,"_17":-7,"_18":19,"_20":21,"_22":23,"_24":-7,"_25":26,"_27":-5,"_28":-5,"_29":-5,"_30":-5,"_31":-5},"handle","shariff81","name","Bracket-Picker","branchName","main","version","path","","project",{"_33":62,"_13":14,"_45":63,"_64":-5,"_65":53,"_66":67,"_68":67,"_69":19,"_70":-5,"_71":72,"_73":37,"_74":44,"_75":-5,"_76":-5,"_77":78,"_79":80,"_81":82,"_83":84,"_85":86,"_87":-5,"_88":89,"_90":89,"_91":92,"_93":92,"_94":92,"_95":89,"_96":89,"_97":98,"_99":100,"_101":102,"_103":53},"tree",[57],"file","contents",[32],"upstream","pull","ahead","behind","envVars",{"_33":34,"_13":35,"_36":37,"_38":-5,"_39":40,"_41":42,"_43":44,"_45":46,"_17":47,"_48":49,"_50":51,"_52":53,"_54":55,"_18":56},"id","bc81786a-5f70-47fa-8b4b-04febd5b5296","main.ts","fileId","c049210a-a550-11f1-8c8b-1607ee4eb77e","parentId","branchId","c3a2331a-0e48-42a2-8f31-ea4d4748f432","branchVersion",25,"latest",true,"createdAt",["D",1788196241996],24,"fileType","http","content","/**\n * BRACKET JUSTICE — 2026 fantasy draft slot selection + last-place punishment vote.\n *\n * Val Town HTTP val. Paste this whole file into a new HTTP val and hit Save.\n * The URL it gives you is the one link everybody uses, forever. No accounts.\n *\n * ── The two things you may want to change ──────────────────────────────────\n * LEAGUE_PASSWORD below: set it to \"\" to let anyone with the link in,\n * or leave a password so a leaked URL isn't a problem.\n * To wipe the board and start over: visit /reset?key=\n * (or /reset if you set no password). It asks for confirmation first.\n * ───────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────\n */\n\nimport { sqlite } from \"https://esm.town/v/std/sqlite/main.ts\";\n\nconst LEAGUE_PASSWORD = \"Chucha2026\"; // \"\" disables the password entirely\nconst RELEASE_PASSWORD = \"Mean2026\"; // commish-only password to release a claimed name\n\n/* ── The league, in March Madness finish order ────────────────────────────── */\nconst PEOPLE = [\n {\n id: \"anthony\",\n name: \"Anthony Rodriguez\",\n team: \"Slangin Dubz\",\n champ: \"MICH\",\n right: true,\n pts: 1540,\n badge: \"LAST PLACE 2025\",\n roast:\n \"Won the bracket by 280 and still finished dead last in fantasy last year. You've proven you can pick other people's teams. Now try picking your own.\",\n },\n {\n id: \"luis\",\n name: \"Luis Rosero-Barros\",\n team: \"The Oldest Chucha\",\n champ: \"UCONN\",\n right: false,\n pts: 1260,\n roast:\n \"Rode UConn all the way to second place and a whole lot of nothing. The name checks out. So does the ceiling.\",\n },\n {\n id: \"tim\",\n name: \"Tim Rogers\",\n team: \"BIG RED's Picks\",\n champ: \"MICH\",\n right: true,\n pts: 1250,\n roast:\n \"Had the right champion and still lost to Anthony by 290. Same Michigan, different competence.\",\n },\n {\n id: \"john\",\n name: \"John Leon\",\n team: \"ESPNFAN7500303812's Picks\",\n champ: \"DUKE\",\n right: false,\n pts: 840,\n badge: \"WON THE TIEBREAK\",\n roast:\n \"An ESPN username with more digits than a phone number, and a bracket that died in Durham. You won the tiebreak, which is the only thing you won.\",\n },\n {\n id: \"ernesto\",\n name: \"Ernesto Santana\",\n team: \"Esant025's Picks 1\",\n champ: \"DUKE\",\n right: false,\n pts: 840,\n roast:\n \"Tied John at 840 and lost the coin you never got to flip. Your entire tournament was decided by paperwork.\",\n },\n {\n id: \"amin\",\n name: \"Amin Shariff\",\n team: \"shariff81's Picks 1\",\n champ: \"FLA\",\n right: false,\n pts: 830,\n commish: true,\n roast:\n \"Sixth. Florida. Aggressively, mathematically mid — the bracket equivalent of a four-point home win over a bad team.\",\n },\n {\n id: \"rene\",\n name: \"Rene Arces\",\n team: \"Johnny Manziel's Burner\",\n champ: \"DUKE\",\n right: false,\n pts: 790,\n roast:\n \"Named the team after a guy who couldn't stay on the field, then picked Duke. Full commitment to the bit.\",\n },\n {\n id: \"dylan\",\n name: \"Dylan Farrell\",\n team: \"Nicotine+Caffeine=Protein\",\n champ: \"ARIZ\",\n right: false,\n pts: 770,\n roast:\n \"Nicotine, caffeine, and Arizona. Two of those will eventually kill you. The third already did.\",\n },\n {\n id: \"ruben\",\n name: \"Ruben Vanegas\",\n team: \"The Champ\",\n champ: \"PUR\",\n right: false,\n pts: 720,\n roast:\n \"Team name: The Champ. Finish: ninth. Champion pick: Purdue. Pick a lane, your majesty.\",\n },\n {\n id: \"peter\",\n name: \"Peter Rosero\",\n team: \"08coupedriver's Picks 1\",\n champ: \"DUKE\",\n right: false,\n pts: 710,\n roast:\n \"Duke, 710, tenth. Somewhere an '08 coupe is being driven very slowly away from this leaderboard.\",\n },\n {\n id: \"joseph\",\n name: \"Joseph Rogers\",\n team: \"GPT5.4\",\n champ: \"DUKE\",\n right: false,\n pts: 660,\n roast:\n \"Named the team after an AI and still couldn't compute a bracket. Eleventh with Duke — you hallucinated an entire tournament.\",\n },\n {\n id: \"alex\",\n name: \"Alex Rodriguez\",\n team: \"Najee Harris\",\n champ: \"FLA\",\n right: false,\n pts: 560,\n badge: \"LAST PLACE 2024\",\n roast:\n \"Dead last in the bracket, dead last in fantasy two years ago. The Rodriguez family now owns both ends of the shame leaderboard. Najee would like his name back.\",\n },\n];\n\nconst SLOT_ROAST: Record = {\n 1: \"First overall. Zero excuses left. If this blows up it is you, alone, on camera.\",\n 2: \"Quietly hoping the guy at 1.01 pulls a hamstring in August. Ghoulish. Respected.\",\n 3: \"Close enough to the top to brag, far enough back to blame the board.\",\n 4: \"The 'I did the research' slot. You did not do the research.\",\n 5: \"Top-tier vanilla. Nobody has ever lost a league at five, and nobody has ever bragged about it either.\",\n 6: \"Dead center of the board. A coward's paradise.\",\n 7: \"You will take whoever falls and spend all season insisting you planned it.\",\n 8: \"Turn-adjacent. Get ready to say the word 'value' four hundred times.\",\n 9: \"Back-to-back picks and still no plan for either of them.\",\n 10:\n \"The 10-11 turn. Congratulations, now you have to be right twice in a row.\",\n 11: \"Waited this long to take the second-best thing left. Bold.\",\n 12:\n \"Last dibs and the double-turn. This is precisely what your bracket earned you.\",\n};\n\n/* ── Storage ──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────── */\ntype Board = {\n seq: number;\n phase: \"draft\" | \"submit\" | \"vote\" | \"results\";\n claims: Record;\n picks: Record;\n pickLog: { p: string; s: number; t: string }[];\n ideas: { id: string; text: string; by: string; t: string }[];\n votes: Record;\n};\n\nconst FRESH: Board = {\n seq: 0,\n phase: \"draft\",\n claims: {},\n picks: {},\n pickLog: [],\n ideas: [],\n votes: {},\n};\n/** Always hand out a deep copy. A shallow {...FRESH} shares the inner objects,\n * so a mutation would quietly corrupt the template for every later request in\n * the same warm isolate — including what /reset writes back. */\nconst fresh = (): Board => JSON.parse(JSON.stringify(FRESH));\nconst TABLE = \"bj_board_v1\";\n\nasync function setup() {\n await sqlite.execute(\n `create table if not exists ${TABLE} (k text primary key, seq integer not null, value text not null)`,\n );\n}\n\nfunction readRow(res: any): { seq: number; value: string } | null {\n const r = res?.rows?.[0];\n if (!r) return null;\n // Val Town SQLite returns object rows; array rows are handled too, just in case.\n if (Array.isArray(r)) return { seq: Number(r[1]), value: String(r[2]) };\n return { seq: Number(r.seq), value: String(r.value) };\n}\n\nasync function load(): Promise {\n await setup();\n const row = readRow(\n await sqlite.execute({\n sql: `select k, seq, value from ${TABLE} where k = 'board'`,\n args: [],\n }),\n );\n if (!row) {\n await sqlite.execute({\n sql:\n `insert or ignore into ${TABLE}(k, seq, value) values('board', 0, ?)`,\n args: [JSON.stringify(FRESH)],\n });\n return fresh();\n }\n try {\n return { ...fresh(), ...JSON.parse(row.value), seq: row.seq };\n } catch {\n return fresh();\n }\n}\n\n/** Compare-and-set on seq. Returns false if someone else wrote first — the\n * caller retries against the fresh board, so two people tapping the same slot\n * in the same second can't both get it. */\nasync function save(prevSeq: number, next: Board): Promise {\n next.seq = prevSeq + 1;\n const res = await sqlite.execute({\n sql: `update ${TABLE} set seq = ?, value = ? where k = 'board' and seq = ?`,\n args: [next.seq, JSON.stringify(next), prevSeq],\n });\n return Number(res.rowsAffected || 0) > 0;\n}\n\n/* ── Rules. The server decides; the page only asks. ───────────────────────── */\nconst person = (id: string) => PEOPLE.find((p) => p.id === id) || null;\nconst onClock = (b: Board) => PEOPLE.find((p) => b.picks[p.id] == null) || null;\nconst isCommish = (id: string) => id === \"amin\";\n\ntype Outcome = { error: string } | { board: Board };\n\nfunction apply(b: Board, req: any): Outcome {\n const who = String(req.who || \"\");\n if (!person(who)) return { error: \"Claim your name first.\" };\n\n switch (req.action) {\n case \"claim\": {\n const held = b.claims[who];\n if (held && held !== String(req.device || \"\")) {\n return {\n error: `${\n person(who)!.name.split(\" \")[0]\n } is already claimed on another device. Ask Amin to release it.`,\n };\n }\n b.claims[who] = String(req.device || new Date().toISOString());\n return { board: b };\n }\n case \"release\": {\n if (!isCommish(who)) return { error: \"Commish only.\" };\n if (String(req.pw || \"\") !== RELEASE_PASSWORD) {\n return { error: \"Wrong release password.\" };\n }\n const rid = String(req.id || \"\");\n if (!b.claims[rid]) return { error: \"That name isn't claimed.\" };\n delete b.claims[rid];\n return { board: b };\n }\n case \"pick\": {\n if (b.phase !== \"draft\") return { error: \"The board is closed.\" };\n const c = onClock(b);\n if (!c) return { error: \"Every slot is already gone.\" };\n if (who !== c.id && !isCommish(who)) {\n return {\n error: `Not your turn — ${c.name.split(\" \")[0]} is on the clock.`,\n };\n }\n const slot = Number(req.slot);\n if (!(slot >= 1 && slot <= 12)) {\n return { error: \"That's not a draft slot.\" };\n }\n for (const k in b.picks) {\n if (b.picks[k] === slot) {\n const taker = person(k);\n return {\n error: `Too slow — ${\n taker ? taker.name.split(\" \")[0] : \"someone\"\n } just took ${slot}.`,\n };\n }\n }\n b.picks[c.id] = slot;\n b.pickLog.push({ p: c.id, s: slot, t: new Date().toISOString() });\n return { board: b };\n }\n case \"undo\": {\n if (!isCommish(who)) return { error: \"Commish only.\" };\n const last = b.pickLog.pop();\n if (last) delete b.picks[last.p];\n return { board: b };\n }\n case \"phase\": {\n if (!isCommish(who)) return { error: \"Commish only.\" };\n const to = String(req.to);\n if (![\"draft\", \"submit\", \"vote\", \"results\"].includes(to)) {\n return { error: \"Unknown phase.\" };\n }\n if (to === \"submit\" && Object.keys(b.picks).length < 12) {\n return { error: \"The board isn't full yet.\" };\n }\n b.phase = to as Board[\"phase\"];\n return { board: b };\n }\n case \"addidea\": {\n if (b.phase !== \"submit\") return { error: \"Submissions aren't open.\" };\n const text = String(req.text || \"\").trim().slice(0, 200);\n if (!text) return { error: \"Write something first.\" };\n if (b.ideas.filter((i) => i.by === who).length >= 2) {\n return {\n error: \"You're out of submissions. Two was already generous.\",\n };\n }\n b.ideas.push({\n id: Date.now().toString(36) + Math.random().toString(36).slice(2, 6),\n text,\n by: who,\n t: new Date().toISOString(),\n });\n return { board: b };\n }\n case \"delidea\": {\n const id = String(req.id);\n const idea = b.ideas.find((i) => i.id === id);\n if (!idea) return { error: \"Already gone.\" };\n if (idea.by !== who && !isCommish(who)) {\n return { error: \"That one isn't yours.\" };\n }\n b.ideas = b.ideas.filter((i) => i.id !== id);\n for (const v in b.votes) if (b.votes[v] === id) delete b.votes[v];\n return { board: b };\n }\n case \"vote\": {\n if (b.phase !== \"vote\") return { error: \"Voting isn't open.\" };\n const id = String(req.id);\n if (!b.ideas.some((i) => i.id === id)) {\n return { error: \"That idea is gone.\" };\n }\n if (b.votes[who] === id) delete b.votes[who];\n else b.votes[who] = id;\n return { board: b };\n }\n }\n return { error: \"Unknown action.\" };\n}\n\n/* ── HTTP ─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────── */\nconst json = (body: unknown, status = 200) =>\n new Response(JSON.stringify(body), {\n status,\n headers: { \"content-type\": \"application/json\" },\n });\n\nfunction authorized(req: Request, url: URL): boolean {\n if (!LEAGUE_PASSWORD) return true;\n const given = req.headers.get(\"x-bj-key\") || url.searchParams.get(\"key\") ||\n \"\";\n return given === LEAGUE_PASSWORD;\n}\n\nconst HTML =\n '\\n\\n\\n\\n\\nBracket Justice\\n\\n\\n\\n\\n

\\n\\n\\n\\n';\n\nconst PAGE = HTML\n .replace(\"window.__PEOPLE__\", JSON.stringify(PEOPLE))\n .replace(\"window.__SLOT_ROAST__\", JSON.stringify(SLOT_ROAST))\n .replace(\"window.__NEEDS_KEY__\", JSON.stringify(Boolean(LEAGUE_PASSWORD)));\n\nexport default async function (req: Request): Promise {\n const url = new URL(req.url);\n\n if (url.pathname === \"/\" || url.pathname === \"\") {\n return new Response(PAGE, {\n headers: {\n \"content-type\": \"text/html; charset=utf-8\",\n \"cache-control\": \"no-store, must-revalidate\",\n },\n });\n }\n\n if (url.pathname === \"/reset\") {\n if (!authorized(req, url)) return new Response(\"Nope.\", { status: 401 });\n if (url.searchParams.get(\"confirm\") !== \"yes\") {\n return new Response(\n `\n

Wipe the whole board?

Every pick, every punishment idea and every vote. There is no undo.

Yes, wipe it · No, take me back

\n `,\n { headers: { \"content-type\": \"text/html; charset=utf-8\" } },\n );\n }\n await setup();\n await sqlite.execute({\n sql: `insert into ${TABLE}(k, seq, value) values('board', 0, ?)\n on conflict(k) do update set seq = 0, value = excluded.value`,\n args: [JSON.stringify(FRESH)],\n });\n return new Response(\n `\n

Board wiped.

Back to Bracket Justice

`,\n { headers: { \"content-type\": \"text/html; charset=utf-8\" } },\n );\n }\n\n if (url.pathname === \"/api/state\") {\n if (!authorized(req, url)) return json({ error: \"Wrong password.\" }, 401);\n const b = await load();\n if (url.searchParams.get(\"seq\") === String(b.seq)) {\n return json({ same: true });\n }\n return json({ state: b });\n }\n\n if (url.pathname === \"/api/act\" && req.method === \"POST\") {\n if (!authorized(req, url)) return json({ error: \"Wrong password.\" }, 401);\n let body: any;\n try {\n body = await req.json();\n } catch {\n return json({ error: \"Bad request.\" }, 400);\n }\n\n // Retry the compare-and-set a few times so simultaneous taps resolve\n // cleanly instead of one of them silently vanishing.\n for (let attempt = 0; attempt < 5; attempt++) {\n const b = await load();\n const prevSeq = b.seq;\n const out = apply(b, body);\n if (\"error\" in out) return json({ error: out.error }, 409);\n if (await save(prevSeq, out.board)) return json({ state: out.board });\n await new Promise((r) => setTimeout(r, 40 + Math.random() * 90));\n }\n return json({ error: \"The board is busy. 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