The Masters for the Elderly

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\n \n\n

The field

12 competitors, 6 couples, varying levels of denial about handicap

\n\n

Tournament rules

Carefully designed by committee. Arguments welcome at the 19th hole.

⛳

All foursomes

3 groups of 4 every day, 72 holes across 4 rounds. No lone wolves, no trios.

👫

Happy Families

Day 1 only — all 6 couples play together in the same foursome. Bickering permitted.

🙈

Blind Pairs

Day 2 — randomly drawn groups. No couples together. One all-ladies, one all-men, one mixed.

⚔️

Husbands vs Wives

Day 3 — the sexes go to war. All men together, all ladies together, plus one mixed group. No couples.

🎂

Unders vs Overs

Day 4 — every group gets exactly 2 over-70s and 2 under-70s. No couples.

⚖️

Gender balance

Every group is 4 ladies, 4 men, or 2+2. No one is ever the odd one out.

🤝

Every man plays together

All 15 possible men's pairings are covered across the week. No excuses for not knowing each other.

🔄

No more than 3 together

No two players share a group more than 3 times across the week. Familiarity breeds contempt.

\n\n

The draw

Four days. Twelve players. Zero excuses.

\n\n

Happy Families

All couples together — what could go wrong

\n couples together\n 2W + 2M per group\n

Group 1

♥Karen

♥Martin

♥Helen S

♥Jon

Group 2

♥Jacky

♥Duncan

♥Helen M

♥Pete

Group 3

♥Sandie

♥Dave

♥Sue

♥Nigel

\n\n

Blind Pairs

You didn't choose them. Best of luck.

\n 4 ladies · mixed · 4 men\n no couples\n

Ladies group

Helen S

Jacky

Sandie

Sue

Mixed group

Karen

Helen M

Jon

Dave

Men's group

Duncan

Nigel

Pete

Martin

\n\n

Husbands vs Wives

Battle of the sexes. Decades of scores to settle.

\n 4 men · mixed · 4 ladies\n no couples\n

Men's group

Duncan

Jon

Nigel

Dave

Mixed group

Jacky

Sue

Pete

Martin

Ladies group

Karen

Helen M

Sandie

Helen S

\n\n

Unders vs Overs

The battle of the ages — literally.

\n 2 over + 2 under per group\n no couples\n

Men's group

70+Pete

u70Martin

70+Dave

u70Jon

Mixed group

u70Sandie

u70Helen S

70+Duncan

70+Nigel

Ladies group

70+Sue

70+Jacky

u70Karen

u70Helen M

\n\n

Who plays with who

Every coloured square is a shared round. Blank means they've successfully avoided each other.

Day 1 — Happy Families

Day 2 — Blind Pairs

Day 3 — Husbands vs Wives

Day 4 — Unders vs Overs

\n\n \n\n

\n\n\n`;\n return new Response(html, {\n headers: { \"Content-Type\": \"text/html\" },\n });\n}","export default async function (req) {\n const html = `\n\n\n\n\nThe Masters for the Elderly\n\n\n\n\n

\n \n\n

The field

12 competitors, 6 couples, varying levels of denial about handicap

\n\n

Tournament rules

Carefully designed by committee. Arguments welcome at the 19th hole.

⛳

All foursomes

3 groups of 4 every day, 72 holes across 4 rounds. No lone wolves, no trios.

👫

Happy Families

Day 1 only — all 6 couples play together in the same foursome. Bickering permitted.

🙈

Blind Pairs

Day 2 — randomly drawn groups. No couples together. One all-ladies, one all-men, one mixed.

⚔️

Husbands vs Wives

Day 3 — the sexes go to war. All men together, all ladies together, plus one mixed group. No couples.

🎂

Unders vs Overs

Day 4 — every group gets exactly 2 over-70s and 2 under-70s. No couples.

⚖️

Gender balance

Every group is 4 ladies, 4 men, or 2+2. No one is ever the odd one out.

🤝

Every man plays together

All 15 possible men's pairings are covered across the week. No excuses for not knowing each other.

🔄

No more than 3 together

No two players share a group more than 3 times across the week. Familiarity breeds contempt.

\n\n

The draw

Four days. Twelve players. Zero excuses.

\n\n

Happy Families

All couples together — what could go wrong

\n couples together\n 2W + 2M per group\n

Group 1

♥Karen

♥Martin

♥Helen S

♥Jon

Group 2

♥Jacky

♥Duncan

♥Helen M

♥Pete

Group 3

♥Sandie

♥Dave

♥Sue

♥Nigel

\n\n

Blind Pairs

You didn't choose them. Best of luck.

\n 4 ladies · mixed · 4 men\n no couples\n

Ladies group

Helen S

Jacky

Sandie

Sue

Mixed group

Karen

Helen M

Jon

Dave

Men's group

Duncan

Nigel

Pete

Martin

\n\n

Husbands vs Wives

Battle of the sexes. Decades of scores to settle.

\n 4 men · mixed · 4 ladies\n no couples\n

Men's group

Duncan

Jon

Nigel

Dave

Mixed group

Jacky

Sue

Pete

Martin

Ladies group

Karen

Helen M

Sandie

Helen S

\n\n

Unders vs Overs

The battle of the ages — literally.

\n 2 over + 2 under per group\n no couples\n

Men's group

70+Pete

u70Martin

70+Dave

u70Jon

Mixed group

u70Sandie

u70Helen S

70+Duncan

70+Nigel

Ladies group

70+Sue

70+Jacky

u70Karen

u70Helen M

\n\n

Who plays with who

Every coloured square is a shared round. Blank means they've successfully avoided each other.

Day 1 — Happy Families

Day 2 — Blind Pairs

Day 3 — Husbands vs Wives

Day 4 — Unders vs Overs

\n\n \n\n

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The Masters forthe Elderly

The Masters forthe Elderly

The Masters for
the Elderly

The Masters for
the Elderly

Diff · v6