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FAQ

How do I edit my submission?

\n Resubmit the form if you want anything edited & shoot me a message so I know to delete the old row. Or you\n can just let me know the update via contact info below.\n

\n\n

Can I suggest a location?

\n Contact me (info below) if you want to suggest a location or edit to one of the location fields. I’m trying to\n keep it relatively standardized, so it’s easier to filter.\n

\n\n

Can I help?

\n Thanks for asking! Maybe you can! Do you know how to code? I'm{\" \"}\n looking for collaborators!\n

\n\n

Why is the directory >70% male?

Great question! I think there are a couple reasons:

\n Date Me Docs came about as a practice in tech, rationalism, and EA communities, which are disproportionally\n male.\n
Men feel safer exposing themselves romantically publicly.
Women can get too much attention when they publicize that they are looking to date.

\n Date Me Docs, and the culture surrounding them are so new, but it seems like could be a reasonable state of\n affairs for men to be the ones to create and publicly post Date Me Docs, and for women to read them and\n contact the men they are interested in privately, sometimes with a simple message, and sometimes with a\n private version of a Date Me Doc. There have been women who initially made their Date Me Doc public, but then\n changed it to private when they got too much inbound attention.\n

\n I’d encourage women who feel safe to create and publicly share a doc to do so, and know that there is always\n the option to make it private later. On the other hand, this Bumble-like pattern where women remain private\n and message men could also be a healthy pattern. We shall see!\n

\n\n

Can I bring Date Me Docs to my community?

\n Yes!!! While Date Me Docs started in Tech/rationalism/EA, I think it would work well in a lot of nerdy or\n intellectual communities. Bring your friends to the party! Share it on social media!\n

\n\n

Press

\n \n Tired of Dating Apps, Some Turn to 'Date-Me Docs' (New York Times)\n \n
\n \n ‘Date Me’ Google Docs and the Hyper-Optimized Quest for Love (Wired)\n \n
\n \n Four ways to find love - without the apps (The Guardian)\n \n

\n\n

Contact

\n Contact me by email at:{\" \"}\n \n stevekrouse.dateme_contact@valtown.email\n \n

\n This site was made with ❤️ by Steve Krouse using{\" \"}\n Val Town{\" \"}\n (view the code).\n Please reach out with questions, feedback, or suggestions!\n

\n This service is provided free of charge. All I ask is to be notified if you find love. Or for your firstborn,\n Rumpelstiltskin style. Whichever comes first.\n

\n ,\n );\n}","label",[146,33],"pages","pulls","branches","forks","envVars",{"_154":26,"_156":26},"connections",{"_154":26,"_155":26},"count","unfilledCount","emptyCount",{"_38":227,"_13":146,"_31":136,"_135":-5,"_137":81,"_138":139,"_140":53,"_40":228,"_79":26,"_34":229,"_142":-5,"_36":24,"_144":-5,"_173":230,"_17":231},{"_38":220,"_13":221,"_31":222,"_135":136,"_137":81,"_138":139,"_140":53,"_40":223,"_79":26,"_34":35,"_142":224,"_36":24,"_144":-5,"_173":225,"_17":226},{"_38":134,"_13":33,"_31":32,"_135":136,"_137":81,"_138":139,"_140":53,"_40":217,"_79":26,"_34":35,"_142":143,"_36":24,"_144":-5,"_173":218,"_17":219},{"_38":210,"_13":211,"_31":212,"_135":136,"_137":81,"_138":139,"_140":53,"_40":213,"_79":26,"_34":35,"_142":214,"_36":24,"_144":-5,"_173":215,"_17":216},{"_38":203,"_13":204,"_31":205,"_135":136,"_137":81,"_138":139,"_140":53,"_40":206,"_79":26,"_34":35,"_142":207,"_36":24,"_144":-5,"_173":208,"_17":209},{"_38":196,"_13":197,"_31":198,"_135":136,"_137":81,"_138":139,"_140":53,"_40":199,"_79":26,"_34":35,"_142":200,"_36":24,"_144":-5,"_173":201,"_17":202},{"_38":189,"_13":190,"_31":191,"_135":-5,"_137":81,"_138":139,"_140":53,"_40":192,"_79":26,"_34":21,"_142":193,"_36":24,"_144":-5,"_173":194,"_17":195},{"_38":183,"_13":184,"_31":51,"_135":-5,"_137":81,"_138":139,"_140":53,"_40":185,"_79":26,"_34":171,"_142":186,"_36":24,"_144":-5,"_173":187,"_17":188},{"_38":176,"_13":177,"_31":178,"_135":-5,"_137":81,"_138":80,"_140":53,"_40":179,"_79":139,"_34":21,"_142":180,"_36":24,"_144":-5,"_173":181,"_17":182},{"_38":167,"_13":168,"_31":169,"_135":-5,"_137":81,"_138":139,"_140":53,"_40":170,"_79":26,"_34":171,"_142":172,"_36":24,"_144":-5,"_173":174,"_17":175},"939bf92c-f398-11ef-b1e1-569c3dd06744","rss","e5c441e6-0a9f-4676-8a37-78c8b61e94e3",["D",1740502210845],"http","import { sqlite } from \"https://esm.town/v/std/sqlite?v=6\";\nimport { dataToRSS } from \"https://esm.town/v/stevekrouse/dataToRSS\";\nimport { zip } from \"npm:lodash-es\";\n\nexport async function rss(req: Request) {\n let { columns, rows } = await sqlite.execute(`select * from datemedocs order by LastUpdated desc limit 20`);\n const profiles = rows.map(row =>\n Object.fromEntries(zip(\n columns,\n row.map(d => {\n try {\n return JSON.parse(d);\n } catch (_) {\n return d;\n }\n }),\n ))\n );\n let data = profiles.map((p) => {\n let { Name, Profile, LastUpdated, ...rest } = p;\n return {\n title: Name,\n link: Profile,\n pubDate: new Date(LastUpdated),\n description: Object.entries(rest).filter(([, v]) => v).map(([k, v]) => k + \": \" + v).join(\n \"\\n \",\n ),\n };\n }).sort((a, b) => b.pubDate.getTime() - a.pubDate.getTime());\n return new Response(\n dataToRSS(data, {\n title: \"Date Me Directory RSS\",\n link: \"https://dateme.directory\",\n rssLink: \"https://dateme.directory/rss.xml\",\n }),\n {\n headers: {\n \"Content-type\": \"application/rss+xml\",\n },\n },\n );\n}","children",[],[168],"aa133134-f398-11ef-8a50-569c3dd06744","locations.json","c40f98e5-90ed-446e-b024-c8dda50aab74",["D",1740502248562],"[\n \"San Francisco Bay Area\",\n \"NYC\",\n \"London\",\n \"Central Europe\",\n \"DC\",\n \"UK\",\n \"Los Angeles\",\n \"Berlin\",\n \"Bremen\",\n \"North America\",\n \"Flexible\",\n \"Boston\",\n \"NY\",\n \"Western US\",\n \"Seattle\",\n \"Chicago\",\n \"Asia\",\n \"NJ\",\n \"Philadelphia\",\n \"Colorado\",\n \"Toronto\",\n \"Austin\",\n \"PA\",\n \"Canada\",\n \"Brighton\",\n \"Southern US\",\n \"Vancouver\",\n \"TX\",\n \"Portland\",\n \"MA\",\n \"Denver\",\n \"Brazil\",\n \"Amsterdam\",\n \"WI\",\n \"South of France\",\n \"Cambridge\",\n \"Berkeley\",\n \"WA\",\n \"Vancouver Island\",\n \"South Bay\",\n \"Oxford\",\n \"Oregon\",\n \"North Carolina\",\n \"Dubai\",\n \"Somerville\",\n \"Seoul\",\n \"Sacramento\",\n \"Ohio\",\n \"Madison\",\n \"Ladysmith BC\",\n \"Indianapolis\",\n \"Georgia\",\n \"Asheville\",\n \"Sydney Australia\",\n \"Sweden\",\n \"Ribeirão Bonito\",\n \"ON\",\n \"New Haven\",\n \"Nebraska\",\n \"Monterey\",\n \"Lubbock\",\n \"Ewing\",\n \"Collingswood\",\n \"CT\",\n \"Rhode Island\",\n \"Miami\",\n \"Indonesia\",\n \"Norway\",\n \"Israel\",\n \"Spain\"\n]",[],[177],"939bf60c-f398-11ef-b1e1-569c3dd06744","index",["D",1740502210845],"import { Hono } from \"npm:hono@3\";\nimport browse from \"./pages/browse\";\nimport faq from \"./pages/faq\";\nimport home from \"./pages/home\";\nimport { join } from \"./pages/join\";\nimport { rss } from \"./rss\";\n\nconst app = new Hono();\napp.get(\"/\", home);\napp.get(\"/browse\", browse);\napp.route(\"/join\", join);\napp.get(\"/faq\", faq);\napp.get(\"/rss.xml\", c => rss(c.req.raw));\nexport default app.fetch;",[],[184],"939bf4e0-f398-11ef-b1e1-569c3dd06744","README.md","b934869e-4d76-4ba3-9741-ae5a800e68df",["D",1740502210845],"# The Date Me Directory\n\nThe Date Me Directory is an alternative dating website. \n\nThe directory is a simple\ndatabase of Date Me Docs. Date Me Docs are long-form, earnest dating profiles for romantic partners.\n[Learn more here](https://dateme.directory/faq).\n\n## Todos\n\n- [ ] Make the SQLite database forkable and build a widget/workflow for that, ie fix @stevekrouse/dateme_sqlite\n- [ ] Require an email (that isn't shared publicly)\n - [ ] Verify the email address with a \"magic link\"\n- [ ] Refactor Location to an array of Lat, Lon\n - [ ] Geocode all the existing locations\n - [ ] Add a geocoder map input to the form\n - [ ] Allow selecting multiple location through the form\n- [ ] Profile performance & speed up site, possibly add more caching\n- [ ] Let people edit their forms\n- [ ] Featured profiles",[],[190],"939bf116-f398-11ef-b1e1-569c3dd06744","layout","535775c1-4603-4c2d-b888-ca2248d4c36b",["D",1740502210845],"/** @jsxImportSource npm:hono@3/jsx */\nimport { PropsWithChildren } from \"npm:hono/jsx\";\nconst tabs = { \"/\": \"Home\", \"/browse\": \"Browse\", \"/faq\": \"FAQ\" };\nimport { parseProject } from \"https://esm.town/v/std/parseImportMeta/project\";\n\nconst thisURL = parseProject(import.meta.url).links.self.project;\n\nexport default function({ activeTab, children }: PropsWithChildren<{ activeTab: string }>) {\n return (\n \n \n Date Me Directory\n \n

History · faq